Monday, June 26, 2006
Health Quest for 2
So my husband decides that he will join me on my health quest.
I told him we're starting Thursday.
He is convinced he can lose 30 pounds by exercise alone. I know he can, but some healthful food lovingly prepared by me won't hurt.
I still can't figure out how he came up with 30 pounds. While he has got thick around the middle, I look at him and see he needs to lose maybe 20 pounds. Go figure.
At this point I am debating on joining Weight Watchers again. I am a cheap (notice I didn't use the word frugal) person and I don't want to spend oodles of money on meetings. On the other hand, I lost 90 pounds before while going to meetings. I also like the leader, we see each other in other social situations. While I'm not friends with her -- I wouldn't call her at her house just to shoot the breeze, I am on very a nice acquaintance basis. She is pleasant, positive and inspiring.
What to do, what to do.
Right now I'm in the process of cleaning out the cupboards and preparing for healthy choices ahead.
I told him we're starting Thursday.
He is convinced he can lose 30 pounds by exercise alone. I know he can, but some healthful food lovingly prepared by me won't hurt.
I still can't figure out how he came up with 30 pounds. While he has got thick around the middle, I look at him and see he needs to lose maybe 20 pounds. Go figure.
At this point I am debating on joining Weight Watchers again. I am a cheap (notice I didn't use the word frugal) person and I don't want to spend oodles of money on meetings. On the other hand, I lost 90 pounds before while going to meetings. I also like the leader, we see each other in other social situations. While I'm not friends with her -- I wouldn't call her at her house just to shoot the breeze, I am on very a nice acquaintance basis. She is pleasant, positive and inspiring.
What to do, what to do.
Right now I'm in the process of cleaning out the cupboards and preparing for healthy choices ahead.
Saturday, June 24, 2006
Plan of Attack
Weigh in weekly, not daily or several times per day.
Do Weight Watchers at home. As much as I loved going to meetings, I don't want to spend the money. I need to do this for life so I need to rely on myself.
Get online support.
I need to NOT be perfect. The last time I lost 90 pounds, I was perfect...every single day. That took its toll on me.
Make small goals, not big ones. I'm not out to "lose 90 pounds" again. This time to take the enormity away, I am going to have 10-pound goals.
Do Weight Watchers at home. As much as I loved going to meetings, I don't want to spend the money. I need to do this for life so I need to rely on myself.
Get online support.
I need to NOT be perfect. The last time I lost 90 pounds, I was perfect...every single day. That took its toll on me.
Make small goals, not big ones. I'm not out to "lose 90 pounds" again. This time to take the enormity away, I am going to have 10-pound goals.
Why?
Why?
Because I can't breathe.
Because I can't walk.
Because I cannot run.
Because I am in physical pain, every single day of my life.
Because I look like crap.
Because I am unhealthy.
Because my ankle swells to the point I cannot get a shoe on.
Because I am tired -- all the time.
Because I have no energy.
Because I cannot sleep, because I'm in pain, because I'm fat.
Because I hate mail-order catalogs.
Because I can't buy clothes off the racks that are remotely cute.
Because it hurts to bend.
Because it hurts to garden.
Because I have high triglycerides.
Because I am a candidate for diabetes.
Because I want to be strong.
Because I want to be physical.
Because I want to be healthy.
Because I don't want to die at 59.
Because I don't want heart disease.
Because I want pretty clothes.
Because I want to feel sexy again.
Because I can.
Because I can't breathe.
Because I can't walk.
Because I cannot run.
Because I am in physical pain, every single day of my life.
Because I look like crap.
Because I am unhealthy.
Because my ankle swells to the point I cannot get a shoe on.
Because I am tired -- all the time.
Because I have no energy.
Because I cannot sleep, because I'm in pain, because I'm fat.
Because I hate mail-order catalogs.
Because I can't buy clothes off the racks that are remotely cute.
Because it hurts to bend.
Because it hurts to garden.
Because I have high triglycerides.
Because I am a candidate for diabetes.
Because I want to be strong.
Because I want to be physical.
Because I want to be healthy.
Because I don't want to die at 59.
Because I don't want heart disease.
Because I want pretty clothes.
Because I want to feel sexy again.
Because I can.
In 10 years . . .
I have a birthday coming up. The big 41.
I just received an email from a friend where you had to answer a list of 40 questions about yourself. One of the questions was: Where do you see yourself in 10 years? My answer was with a full head of gray hair.
Where will I be in 10 years? My son will be 20. I'll be 51. I'm sure I will have a full head of gray hair as I'm about half gray now. :(
I don't know that I have any hopes and dreams floating around in my head that don't revolve around my son at this point. I think it's time to set an example and start dreaming big.
My biggest worry is health. God I hated it when mom used to go on and on about health. She died at 59 because she was in such poor health. I've always viewed myself as much healthier than she was, but the truth of the matter is, I don't know that that is true.
I keep telling myself to get with it and start Weight Watchers again. Every week goes by and I don't rejoin. I keep telling myself to quit smoking. Truth is, I can't see myself without cigarettes. Sad but true, I am completely addicted to cigarettes.
Fat, smoker = heart attack/stroke just waiting to happen.
Get your shit together, lady.
Last night the three of us played basketball for about an hour. My son was amazed that I could play, and even more amazed that I could (and did) make baskets. At one point in my life I was very athletic. Now from smoking and being overweight, it's damned hard to play basketball, walk, climb stairs, etc.
I have to get it together, and not for my son, not for my husband, not for anyone but me.
My birthday is next week. That, of course, means eating out, cake, lots of stuff that isn't great for one's health. Two days after my birthday, my present to myself will be to start living. Why two days? Because if there's cake in the house, I cannot control myself. I'm sure my family will devour the cake by the day after my birthday. When it's gone, I'll start.
I just received an email from a friend where you had to answer a list of 40 questions about yourself. One of the questions was: Where do you see yourself in 10 years? My answer was with a full head of gray hair.
Where will I be in 10 years? My son will be 20. I'll be 51. I'm sure I will have a full head of gray hair as I'm about half gray now. :(
I don't know that I have any hopes and dreams floating around in my head that don't revolve around my son at this point. I think it's time to set an example and start dreaming big.
My biggest worry is health. God I hated it when mom used to go on and on about health. She died at 59 because she was in such poor health. I've always viewed myself as much healthier than she was, but the truth of the matter is, I don't know that that is true.
I keep telling myself to get with it and start Weight Watchers again. Every week goes by and I don't rejoin. I keep telling myself to quit smoking. Truth is, I can't see myself without cigarettes. Sad but true, I am completely addicted to cigarettes.
Fat, smoker = heart attack/stroke just waiting to happen.
Get your shit together, lady.
Last night the three of us played basketball for about an hour. My son was amazed that I could play, and even more amazed that I could (and did) make baskets. At one point in my life I was very athletic. Now from smoking and being overweight, it's damned hard to play basketball, walk, climb stairs, etc.
I have to get it together, and not for my son, not for my husband, not for anyone but me.
My birthday is next week. That, of course, means eating out, cake, lots of stuff that isn't great for one's health. Two days after my birthday, my present to myself will be to start living. Why two days? Because if there's cake in the house, I cannot control myself. I'm sure my family will devour the cake by the day after my birthday. When it's gone, I'll start.
Friday, April 21, 2006
i'm in a funny mood
This last one is for a cranky senior citizen who hates children. You know who you are and what you did. Rain happens. Roads get wet. Kids play in water. Kiss off. :-p~~~~
Stress
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Next Wednesday
Next Wednesday, I'm going back to Weight Watchers.
After carefully considering every diet out there, every life style plan, every fad, I turn back to Weight Watchers as a sensible plan that I know will work for me.
Sure I'll be eating processed foods in the beginning. However, I decided that I can have mini-goals to eat healthier as time goes on. I get stuck in that "I have to give up" mentality and I just don't want to give up everything all at once. I think it is a recipe for failure.
So, Weight Watchers it is. Wednesday is the start date.
After carefully considering every diet out there, every life style plan, every fad, I turn back to Weight Watchers as a sensible plan that I know will work for me.
Sure I'll be eating processed foods in the beginning. However, I decided that I can have mini-goals to eat healthier as time goes on. I get stuck in that "I have to give up" mentality and I just don't want to give up everything all at once. I think it is a recipe for failure.
So, Weight Watchers it is. Wednesday is the start date.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Brokeback Mountain
I watched it this weekend. Twice. I bawled both times.
What an excellent movie.
This movie reminded me of my childhood. I grew up in Wyoming. I was born in Laramie and also lived in Cheyenne. Wyoming will always be home to me. Big wide open spaces and lots of wind. Sigh. I miss it.
The movie wasn't filmed in Wyoming, it was filmed in Alberta. The parts of Wyoming that I grew up in were more desolate, baren, but the mountains are beautiful.
I am going to buy the soundtrack for this movie. That song is just hauntingly beautiful. I may even buy the movie.
It breaks my heart that some in society are so closed minded and cruel. Love is always a good thing.
What an excellent movie.
This movie reminded me of my childhood. I grew up in Wyoming. I was born in Laramie and also lived in Cheyenne. Wyoming will always be home to me. Big wide open spaces and lots of wind. Sigh. I miss it.
The movie wasn't filmed in Wyoming, it was filmed in Alberta. The parts of Wyoming that I grew up in were more desolate, baren, but the mountains are beautiful.
I am going to buy the soundtrack for this movie. That song is just hauntingly beautiful. I may even buy the movie.
It breaks my heart that some in society are so closed minded and cruel. Love is always a good thing.
Figuring it out
It is time for me to diet. I have to. My heart pounds, I'm fat, I can't breathe (smoking and weight probably) and I feel miserable.
Two years ago I lost 90 pounds and gained them all back. Every last one. So I have to do that again and this time stick with a healthy lifestyle after the loss.
I'm trying to figure out what in the hell to do this time. I think I will do Weight Watchers again because I ate a healthful diet and it wasn't so bad. When it's done, though, I need to prepare myself for the lifetime maintenance.
The reason I freaked out and fell off my plan was son/public school related. It was stress. Mother's stress and worry over a child. Pretty strong.
Fat is an insulator. It keeps people at bay.
Fat sucks. I hate being the way I am. It's uncomfortable.
On a good note, I'm to the point where I don't give a shit what anyone thinks of me. I have noticed a little fat discrimination in the last month, where before I was oblivious to it. But too bad for them. This is who I am, like me or not. I happen to be a very kind person. However, I am unhealthy and it's time to start a journey.
This week I'm cleaning out the kitchen, searching for recipes and doing a little more research. I'll start in a week or so.
I'm not sharing my weight. Obviously I have 90 to lose, so I'm big. But no numbers. That's personal. I will share my thoughts on this journey. Hopefully I'll figure out how to deal with stress and life's bumps in the roads.
Two years ago I lost 90 pounds and gained them all back. Every last one. So I have to do that again and this time stick with a healthy lifestyle after the loss.
I'm trying to figure out what in the hell to do this time. I think I will do Weight Watchers again because I ate a healthful diet and it wasn't so bad. When it's done, though, I need to prepare myself for the lifetime maintenance.
The reason I freaked out and fell off my plan was son/public school related. It was stress. Mother's stress and worry over a child. Pretty strong.
Fat is an insulator. It keeps people at bay.
Fat sucks. I hate being the way I am. It's uncomfortable.
On a good note, I'm to the point where I don't give a shit what anyone thinks of me. I have noticed a little fat discrimination in the last month, where before I was oblivious to it. But too bad for them. This is who I am, like me or not. I happen to be a very kind person. However, I am unhealthy and it's time to start a journey.
This week I'm cleaning out the kitchen, searching for recipes and doing a little more research. I'll start in a week or so.
I'm not sharing my weight. Obviously I have 90 to lose, so I'm big. But no numbers. That's personal. I will share my thoughts on this journey. Hopefully I'll figure out how to deal with stress and life's bumps in the roads.
